Not Quite What He Expected
by Lizzie12
Summary: Post NFA: Angel finds the afterlife isn't exactly as expected.
1. Default Chapter

He was in hell. He was sure of it. Sure, it looked like a nice, cheerful, kid-friendly place with toys, a playhouse and stuffed animals galore, but he knew it was hell, if only because he was, once again, a puppet. Yes, for the second time in months he'd been turned into an adorable felt puppet.  
  
Angel looked down at his three-fingered hands in despair. When he first conceived the plan to take out The Circle Of The Black Thorn he knew the penalty for spoiling the Senior Partners'' plan would be unimaginably horrific. He'd been prepared to face a fiery hell, an ice hell, even an upside-down hell, but nothing had prepared him for this: Smile Time Hell. Not only was he trapped in an evil kiddy show studio for all eternity, he was doomed to spend the time as a wee little puppet man. At least no one was there to see him like this, he thought in a futile attempt to look at the bright side of life.  
  
A sudden noise caught his attention. Carefully, he edged closer to the source. To his horror, Angel realized he was not alone. No, it can't be, he thought. Even the Senior Partners couldn't be this cruel. He was wrong. Before him, also a puppet, stood his long time nemesis and would-be successor: Lindsey McDonald.  
  
He was small, even smaller than Angel, with big blue eyes and a dusting of freckles on his little snub nose. Angel studied Lindsey for several moments before grudgingly admitting that Lindsey made an even cuter puppet than he did. In fact, Lindsey was not only cute, he was downright adorable.  
  
To be accurate, he only looked adorable. Judging by the murderous gleam in his baby blue eyes, Lindsey was more than a little ticked off about the whole Lorne business.  
  
Lindsey advanced towards Angel. "A flunky, you had me killed by a flunky!" he yelled.  
  
Angel backed away slowly. In a soothing tone, he said "Now, Lindsey, be reasonable about this. I know you're upset with me, but let's not fly off the handle."  
  
Lindsey ignored Angel's words. "I can't believe you didn't even have the respect to kill me yourself!" he yelled as he launched himself at Angel. "Now I'm gonna kill you!"  
  
They fought furiously, leaving destroyed studio props and a pile of eviscerated plush toys in their wake before Angel managed to leap to safety. Perching precariously on a klieg light, he watched as Lindsey stuffed soft downy filling into his chest and reattached his nose.  
  
Lindsey glared up at Angel. Shaking his tiny felt fist he shouted "This isn't over! You can't stay up there forever, Angel! When you come down, I'm gonna rip you a size 12 puppet hole!"  
  
Angel sighed. It was going to be a long eternity.  
  
The End. 


	2. Out Of The Frying Pan

Angel landed with a thud. It had taken all his strength, cunning and magical know-how, but he had finally made it. After an indeterminate time in what was surely the most bizarre hell ever conceived, he had escaped, ripping a hole in the very fabric of reality to win his freedom. 

Well, this place isn't so bad, he thought happily as he took his surroundings. In the distance, he could see what appeared to be a small town, complete with a Main Street lined with rather small houses. Could this be some kind of midget hell?, Angel wondered. No matter, anything was preferable to spending eternity locked in mortal combat with a puppet version of Lindsey McDonald. Angel pictured Lindsey's reaction when he realized that Angel had escaped Smile Time Hell. He could just see Lindsey's tiny felt body shaking with rage, Lindsey stomping about the studio, swearing vengeance. 

He noticed that the houses seemed a bit off somehow. Peering closely, Angel realized it was because each home had a single large, oval, entrance instead of a door. The houses lacked windows as well. They weren't homes, they were doghouses.

Scrambling to his feet, he realized something was very wrong. Specifically his feet; he had four of them. Four feet at the end of four legs covered with tight, curly, black hair. Angel whipped his head around wildly, trying to get a better look at his body, but his long hairy ears kept getting in the way. Craning his neck, he spotted what could only be a tail, complete with a big, puffy, black pompom. 

Angel gasped at the horrific sight. It was even worse than he had feared. He was in Toy Poodles on Parade Hell. 

He watched as the dogs kept coming, and coming and coming, a never-ending stream of perky toy poodles, each with a jaunty pompadour and a rhinestone collar. Still reeling with shock, he joined the parade of poodles marching in formation.

This wasn't so bad, he thought. At least I'm not in Smile Time Hell fighting off a psychotic Texan. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his ankle. He looked down; a tiny brown poodle, more tea-cup than toy sized, had sunk a surprisingly sharp set of fangs into his leg. The little dog snarled and glared up at Angel, anger burning in his oddly familiar blue eyes. 

Blue eyes? Oh no, Angel thought. I've been followed.

The End. 


End file.
